Jan 10, 2008

With apologies to Lennon and McCartney's Nowhere Man

Submitted by a budding song writer.

--Gus

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Pit Whore Man

He's a real Pit Whore Man
Sitting at his Pit Whore Lab
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him

Waiting for his house to sell
Doesn't have a hope in hell
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Pit Whore Man, quit whining
We got pits - need shining
Pit Whore Man the world runs without you

He's as smart as smart can be
He'll proudly show his Phd
Pit Whore Man might have to file for bankruptcy

Pit Whore Man, should worry
Lab is dying, in a hurry
Leave it now; LANS dealt you a bad hand

He's figured out he got real screwed
DOE had plans real shrewd
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Pit whore man, quite hissing
Outside funds, are missing
Pit whore man, NNSA hasn't got a plan

He's a real Pit Whore Man,
Sitting in his Pit Whore Lab
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him

18 comments:

  1. Oh Yes, what will we do without Pete V Domenici? Well my friends, we are going to find out this FY. Then we will see just how powerful he has been with regard to lab funding....The "Slow Sizzle" and burn has started!

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  2. Imagine there's no LANL
    It's easy if you try
    No pollution below us
    Above us only clean sky
    Imagine all the people
    Living their whole life

    Imagine there's no LANS
    It isn't hard to do
    Nothing to steal or lie for
    And no Concur too
    Imagine all the people
    Living life in peace

    You may say that I'm a dreamer
    But I'm not the only one
    I hope someday you'll join us
    And the world will be as one

    Imagine the best and the brightest
    Doing the best the can
    For no more need or hunger
    A brotherhood of man
    Imagine all the people
    Sharing all the world

    You may say that I'm a dreamer
    But I'm not the only one
    I hope someday you'll join us
    And the world will live as one

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  3. It's too bad that anonymous 12:06 PM can't come up against one of Osama's boys. That would resolve his problems real fast!

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  4. To 12:06 pm

    Here are some lyrics for you.

    I don't understand
    Why are you being so mean?
    You're mean mean man


    You are just jealous of me
    Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
    So instead of just admitting it
    You walk around and say
    All kinds of really mean things
    About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
    But it's only cuz you're
    Just really jealous of me
    Cuz I'm what you want to be
    So you just look like an idiot
    When you say these mean things
    Cuz it's too easy to see
    You're just a really big weenie, big weenie


    Alright listen, I need you to focus
    I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
    We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
    I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
    Now I need you to open your mind-your eyes close them
    You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
    For the next four and a half minutes
    We are going to explore into your mind
    To find out why you're so fuckin' jealous
    Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?
    Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
    Psych, I'm kidding
    I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'
    Ok, now I need your undivided attention
    Sir I have a question
    Why do I always sense this undeniable tension
    From the moment that I enter into the room
    It gets all quiet and whispers
    Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?
    I've been dying to ask, it's been itchin' at me
    Is it just because




    Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
    I was going to say something extremely important
    But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
    Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
    That's just what you wanted to hear from me
    Is that I fucked up ain't it?
    But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
    It doesn't take a bunch of takes
    Or me to stand here in this booth all day
    For me to say the truth, ok?
    You're droolin, you have tooth decay
    Your mouth is open, you're disgusting
    What the fuck you eat for lunch
    A bunch of sweets or something, what?
    You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
    Your tooth is rotten to the gum
    Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
    Yes I do sir, what am I on?
    You sir are on chew syrum
    Marshall I'm so jealous of you
    Please say you won't tell nobody
    I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
    That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
    All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
    It's my own insecurity!




    Alright now we, we're going to conduct
    That experiment that we were talking about earlier
    Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
    Cuz that's exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
    Here's a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
    Wait, let me put these sun glasses on
    Now look in this mirror, how about now?
    What do you have in common?
    You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
    You look like I sound like singing about weenies
    Now take my weenie out of your mouth
    This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
    I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
    Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
    There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
    Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
    Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
    Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is tortuous
    My point is this
    That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
    Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is...

    Eminem

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  5. <cringe> Middle age dudes that never grew up are just embarrassing sometimes.

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  6. "With apologies to Lennon and McCartney's Nowhere Man"

    And apologies to the rest of us too, I hope.

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  7. Just a nit picky note about the song--very few PhDs work on the pit manufacturing program.

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  8. We can always count on Gussie to elevate the level discussion by elevating such a moronic post to the top.

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  9. 2:23 - how many nukes did we need to capture Osama? WTF?

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  10. One or two dropped on Tora Bora probably would've done it.

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  11. " Middle age dudes that never grew up are just embarrassing sometimes.

    1/10/08 5:03 PM"

    True enough 5:03pm, but fun nonetheless.


    "And if you should survive to 105
    Look at all youll derive out of being alive
    Then here is the best part
    You have a head start
    If you are among the very young at heart"

    Frank Sinatra

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  12. 7:44,
    A reader sent me that post, but to make you happy I've posted something else on top. I hope you don't find it moronic.
    - Pinky

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  13. "It's too bad that anonymous 12:06 PM can't come up against one of Osama's boys. That would resolve his problems real fast!

    1/10/08 2:23 PM"

    Here is one off the web.

    Imagine a world of Islam
    Free nuclear bombs FOR ALL
    Allah likes the booze
    We're all gonna lose!

    Imagine all five pillars
    Scraping the sky
    Allah


    Imagine Mohhemed as king
    Saddam with bombs
    Bush on a roasting stick
    England is so sick

    Imagine all Mecca
    praising Allah
    Mohhemed


    You may say I'm a war head
    but I'm not the only one
    You will join us someday
    And Allah is one

    Imagine no America
    well hey we stil have Jihad
    Imagine Allah with a gun
    Boy that would be fun

    Imagine 72 virgins
    all for us
    Allah

    You may say I'm war head
    but i'm not the only one
    You will join us someday
    And Allah is One


    Donster

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  14. I've got you under my skin.
    I've got you deep in the heart of me.
    So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.
    I've got you under my skin.
    I'd tried so not to give in.
    I said to myself: this affair never will go so well.
    But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well
    I've got you under my skin?

    I'd sacrifice anything come what might
    For the sake of havin' you near
    In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night
    And repeats, repeats in my ear:
    Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
    Use your mentality, wake up to reality.
    But each time that I do just the thought of you
    Makes me stop before I begin
    'Cause I've got you under my skin.

    I would sacrifice anything come what might
    For the sake of havin' you near
    In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night
    And repeats - how it yells in my ear:
    Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
    Why not use your mentality - step up, wake up to reality?
    But each time I do just the thought of you
    Makes me stop just before I begin
    'Cause I've got you under my skin.
    Yes, I've got you under my skin.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Not exactly a comment on the musical thread here, but FYI, Mikey will be speaking publicly in Washington on the future of science at the national labs next week: http://www.wilsoncenter.org/index.cfmfuseaction=events.event&event_id=346071

    Wonder how much spin will be put on that one, and will he talk about the grave morale problems at the labs?

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  16. "One or two dropped on Tora Bora probably would've done it."

    Yep, nuke the bastards. Nuke everyone! We need to stop this conventional ground war crap and drop a nuke! Don't you see? If we nuke em' right now it would start a nuclear free for all and we could finally clean house.

    For instance. We blast Afghanistan which invites Pakistan to grow a set and nuke India. Then we could nuke who ever is left standing (solves that problem). Then North Korea might take the opportunity to nuke South Korea. Then we could nuke the North AND China(solves two problems at the same time).If Russia has a problem with that? That's right, nuke them too.

    It is so simple! Write your Congressman right away. Call the President! Organize a rally!

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  17. "Yep, nuke the bastards. Nuke everyone!" 1/12/08 8:19 AM


    Or not.

    Let me explain this is redneckese:

    "Ya'll cain't go 'round blowin' everthang and everone up. It jus ain't raight."

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  18. "Ya'll cain't go 'round blowin' everthang and everone up. It jus ain't raight."

    1/13/08 10:25 AM

    Sounds like GW speaking

    ReplyDelete

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