Comment of the Week

It's that time again. And, once again it was difficult to select one single comment from the 207 submitted this week to be honored as Comment of the Week. I did notice, however, that most of the comments to Frank's blog fall neatly into one of three categories: Incisive, Funny, or Pathetic. Plenty to choose from in that last category, sadly. This week a winning comment from each of these three categories will share the COTW award.

From the Incisive group, we have this bit of succinct, compact wisdom plucked from the NUCLEAR WEAPONS: NNSA and DOD Need to More Effectively Manage the Stockpile Life Extension Program post:

"What is the point of keeping LANL if there is little to no science left for the managers to manage?" - 2:01 AM

Cashflow, baby, cashflow.

In the Funny Category, we select this vivid tidbit of LANL culture from last week's Comment of the Week

Wow, I can't believe how many of you are unwilling to believe that some of the male scientists at LANL are creepy disgusting pigs. Yes, guys, the bike shorts are really nasty, especially after several days in a row. And nobody wants to see that "potato" bulging out of your spandex in front. This is not a Chippendales show... not until you get a decent tan and some muscle definition.

And as far as the general goofball tendencies at LANL, what's with the guy who commutes along Diamond Drive on an oversized unicycle? And in the evening he wears a blinking light on his helmet for safety - ROTFL!

Yes indeedy boys, as we ladies say: the odds are good... but the goods are very, very odd.

There was plenty of competition for winner of the Pathetic category. It was a toss-up, but I settled on this contribution, also from last week's COTW post. Some people are clearly devoting way too much time chasing trivial pursuits on this blog.

8:18 pm: "Gotcha dipshit, scientists do not have "office meetings", that is a business term. Try harder next time idiot."

I'm (almost) left speechless by this poster's naivete, not to mentions aggressive idiocy. Scientists do not have office meetings??? What a joke. In my organization, mandatory Group meetings are held every week. Discussions include program progress and problems, new management notices and/or requirements, new training, status of old Group business, etc. I guess this poster is some wannabe who has no clue about actual professional life, scientific or otherwise. Go change another oil filter, moron.

Finally, a blast from the past. Back in the "Good Old Days" of February, 2005, the lab was in the final month of what eventually turned out to be a seven month Nanos-imposed shutdown. Interestingly, many of the staff were able to show that they still possesed a sharp sense of humor, even during that dark period of LANL's history. Humor, I've noticed, seems in short supply at today's LANL. Anyhow, we had a poetry contest. Here were a couple of the winners from the first round competition.

From the http://www.parrot-farm.net/lanl-the-real-story/2005/02/pete-nanos-limerick-competition.html post:

First, my favorite -- a Haiku:

Navy admiral -
Peter Principle applies:
in over his head

Runner up:

Director Pete Nanos has said,
if you do science you are a butt-head.
So he stopped all work,
that moronic jerk!
Now science at LANL is dead.


Under LANL's new management plan,
if you try to do science you're canned.
Shall we instill a revolt?
Or just give up and bolt?
Either way, it's "game over," man.


Quoth Nanos, "Disks are missing, oh dear!"
"They're neither here, nor here, nor here!"
"You're all cowboys, I say."
"Now we'll do it MY way!"
Make way for intimidation and fear.


These cowboys have met their match!
Just watch, the bad actors I'll catch!
Guilty or not, I'll fire the lot!
With ten men, I'll start over from scratch.


Security lapses must stop!
So Nanos decides to play cop.
After half a year,
the verdict is clear:
Barcodes: a billion a pop.


Oh Nanos, why don't you just leave us?
Your actions really do grieve us.
Those missing disks?
Just labels amiss!
If we're butt-heads, then you must be Beavis!

--Doug