Disney Corp awarded LLNL ContractMonday, May 7, 2007
Shrek the Ogre, Dreamland News Correspondent
It was announced today that The Walt Disney Company has been awarded the contract for Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory. The announcement came from Thomas DíAgostino who was accompanied by Dumbo, Tinkerbell, Grumpy, Pinocchio, Minnie, Buzz Lightyear, Goofy and Captain Jack Sparrow.
Effective immediately, LLNL will be reorganized into the following departments in order to fit with Disneyís corporate structure.
Chemistry, Materials, & Life Sciences
Energy & Environment
National Ignition Facility Programs
Physics & Advanced Technologies
Defense & Nuclear Technologies
Nonproliferation, Homeland, & International Security
Safety and Environmental Protection
MAIN STREET USA
Administration & Human Resources
NEW ORLEANS SQUARE
Safeguards and Security Organization
Chief Financial Officer
Chief Information Officer
The Director for Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, George Miller released a statement proclaiming that this was a great opportunity for Lab employees and that this would be no "Mickey Mouse" outfit.
In addition to the new organization, B111 will now be referred to as the Tower of Terror.
It was also announced that all bicycles and small vehicles would be replaced with a new Disney Monorail system.