While I was cleaning up the back yard this weekend, I pondered what the unit of measure of one dog stool. In a flash, I realized it was the Bechtel! My dog delivers two Bechtels a day (sometimes three) that need to be gathered and disposed of. I propose a contest to see how many LANS organizations can top the Bechtel mark.
My initial nomination is the Purchasing Department. First, I had to attend a secret training session in the Physics Auditorium (there were less than 20 of us in the entire auditorium) to discover that "Management Level Determination" has absolutely nothing to do with "Management Level. " Then I had a multitude of forms to get signed. I hand-carried the crucial 838c form downtown and the nice man signed it, even though he wasn't sure that it was all copasetic.
Then I went over to the Purchasing Department - in case you haven't been there, it's a very fine building behind the China Moon Restaurant - not at all like the moldy trailers that TSMs work in. There, all the shaded parking spots were occupied by government vehicles, with signs that you'll be towed away if you even pause there. Why the purchasing department (which one would hope does all their business through electronic communications) needs close to a dozen GSA vehicles is beyond me. But, being the dutiful direct employee (instead of one of the far more important Bechtelite indirect employees), I parked outside of the reserved government vehicle area.
I dutifully walked up to the golden door and swiped my Q-Badge (with Sigmas 1-10). You wormy bastard! You cannot enter our exalted space! You might be one of those Los Alamos vagrants that pay our salaries! I called my two contacts from the telephone at the front door and got no response - either they were away from their phones or they had no interest in granting admission to a peasant who might bring them work. Caller ID is a wonderful thing.
For customer service, I give Purchasing 5 Bechtels. For customer friendliness (including their user-hostile parking spaces and front-door reception) I give Purchasing 5 Bechtels for a grand total of 10 out of 10. Any other nominees?
Is there a conversion factor to UCs?