Aug 30, 2009

Comment of the Week, Sunday Morning Edition

A brilliant image of The Future at LANL, as shared with us by a commenter on this week's normal edition of Comment of the Week:

I heard from a friend in the public affairs office that several PR folks from North Korea have been contracted to spearhead a new PR campaign for the Lab. That's why there was a North Korean contingent visiting Governor Bill Richardson recently. He's the one that came up with the idea. The idea is basically to portray Mikey as the "Supreme Director" of a new and improved "Laboratory of the new Millennium." Apparently that's going to be the new lab motto.

So beginning next year Mikey's photo will be displayed strategically across the Lab. As you cross the Los Alamos Bridge the first and last image you'll see will be Mikey's. Right now, as you read this blog, his leadership team (headed by Sir Knight Richard of the Sexual Harassment Order) is in the process of recruiting hundreds of volunteers (loyal Lab employees and spouses of course) to become part of a synchronized dance
troop they want trained to perform every June 1st (anniversary of the LANS takeover). They will receive hands on instruction from experienced Olympic event dance choreographers. Dignitaries will be sitting on stands placed on in front of the National Security Building facing the open area between the Resource Library and the Otowi. That area will formally be christened next spring The Sheeple's Mall (pictured at the left).

The children of loyal Lab employees will be carrying long poles with long colored streamers tied to them, waving them back and forth in the wind as their parents dance for the Supreme Director. There will be many political dignitaries on hand to pay homage of course. Displays of mockups of every warhead design ever developed at the Laboratory (whether they worked or not) will line the mall. St. Pete will provide the keynote address of course. Imagine the cheering roar of the masses!

Well if you can’t imagine that, that’s the way my PR friend is imagining it. Sounds a little far fetched but hey, he’s a PR guy. And you know they never lie.


Anonymous said...

Well save the date for the big company picnic coming up in September. Like in years past, LANS senior management and the ass-kissers below down to GL level will be "encouraging" people to attend the event.

Anonymous said...

Not this GL.

Anonymous said...

Oh, fear not. There will be a *huge* turn out of sheeple at the LANS picnic this year. And plenty of ass-kissers.

Anonymous said...

My favorite excuse why people say they go ... "oh, we went for the kids."

Anonymous said...

I am curious what distinguishes a "sheeple" from an "ass-kisser".

Anonymous said...

Sheeple always show up when there is FREE food.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Mikey will be serving half a hot dog to everyone, hold the kruat. From my perspective, what is there to celebrate the past year other that the promotions of Glenn Mara (LLNS retiree, LANS retiree, and new UC rehire), MacMillan (new PADNWP), and Bret Knapp (new X-Division god)?

Anonymous said...

3:39, I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you were not invited to the "inner circle" celebrations of the promotions you mentioned.

Anonymous said...

I think many people have shown up for one or two reasons:

1) To see how the other half spends money for the little people (i.e. - what the management considers as 'a whoppin' good time for all')

2) To get whatever is being offered, while something (anything!) is being offered.

#2 is why the whole gig is offered: to give the bonu$ee's a way to say "We tried to share the wealth with the other half and build good will..."

Anonymous said...

From the August 32, 2009 LANL Today (formerly Links, yada, yada)

Employee Engagement Survey kicks off in September
Starting in mid September, the Laboratory will conduct an Employee Engagement Survey. The confidential online survey will run for two weeks and give employees a chance to provide candid input that will help managers better understand employee engagement and overall work satisfaction. Survey results will be shared with the Lab workforce.

Anonymous said...

Question #1 on the LANS employee satisfaction survey:

How good of a job is the Director doing in leading this lab?

A) Good

B) Excellent

C) Unbelievably, Amazing, Stupendous!

C) My goodness, this man is super-human! Give him a triple bonus and mail my survey reward to the home address!

Anonymous said...

I'll be shocked if the LANS generated survey reports anything other than great employee satisfaction with LANS.

It's going to be used as yet another PR mechanism to boost the stature of for-profit LANS (aka Bechtel) with the media and the Congress.

If, for some reason, the results look abysmal, the data will likely be held back by LANS as corporate "proprietary" information.

Anonymous said...

Opps! There go two more young TSMs...

Portland's Buzz With Gen Y

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Julia Anderson, The Columbian, Vancouver, Wash.

Aug. 30 -- On a trail hike in northern New Mexico this month, I met a young woman who, along with her husband, works at the Los Alamos National Laboratory. They'd been at the research facility for nine years since graduating from college with engineering degrees. Now, she said, they are getting antsy, ready to relocate.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Oh, we'd love to get to the Portland area," she said. "I'm from the Northwest and we think we'd really like Portland."

The woman fits the newcomer profile for the Vancouver-Portland-Beaverton, Ore. metro area: Young, hip, well-educated, upwardly mobile. Portland has buzz among this late-20s age group for its quality of life, commitment to green building, local food, renewable energy and alternative fuels.....

Anonymous said...

"Now, she said, they are getting antsy, ready to relocate."

Hmmm, I wonder why?

Anonymous said...

This is a humerous yet sad commentary. It is our own fear, greed, complancency and hypochrisy that keeps leaders like these in power.

Anonymous said...

So, after spending millions of dollars on the front gate inspection system at the behest of the LASO bureaucrats, NNSA is now telling LANL to drop car inspections and let all cars go through without stopping. Only trucks will be stopped and inspected.

NNSA could have saved millions of dollars and prevented lots of County headaches by building a single truck inspection station at LANL's front gate. Instead, they created what has now become an unnecessary monstrosity.

NNSA has got to be one of the most fuck-upped agency in the whole US government. LANL will continue to whither away if these idiots are allowed to stay in control of the weapons complex.

LANL Today

Laboratory to Change Vehicle Traffic-Screening Regimen at Vehicle Inspection Station

LOS ALAMOS, New Mexico, September 1, 2009 — Los Alamos National Laboratory is changing its staffing of the vehicle inspection station at East Jemez Road and Diamond Drive effective Saturday, September 26.

Beginning on that day, lanes two through five will be open 24 hours a day and won’t be staffed by a Laboratory protective force officer. Laboratory employees and other motorists need not stop at this vehicle inspection station when traveling through lanes two through five, numbered from left to right.

Lanes one and six will be closed except when heavy vehicle traffic necessitates their opening.

Lane seven, the far-right lane, will be staffed fulltime by a protective force officer. Large vehicles, such as commercial delivery or recreational vehicles, must use lane seven and stop, proceeding only after an indication by a protective force officer.

Anonymous said...

Saw this short obit on the LANL front web page. Anyone know the full story of what happened with Tony?

Obituary: Tony John Beugelsdijk (Hutchinson News - Kansas)

Tony John Beugelsdijk, a resident of Los Alamos, passed away on Aug. 23, 2009. He was preceded in death by his father, Leo Beugelsdijk. Tony attended Wichita State University, receiving his BS in Chemistry, University of Illinois receiving a PhD in Bio-inorganic Chemistry and also attended UNM, where he received his M.B.A. in General Management. Tony worked at the Los Alamos National Laboratory as a Chemist.

Anonymous said...

Stroke, followed by Aneurysm. Died on the operating table.