Nov 8, 2009

COW, Honorable Mention

This one came in right after I had posted this week's COW. Also from the For the Love of Sex and Money post:



How come I don't see any of this embarrassing salary info posted on the new LANS blog?




59 comments:

Anonymous said...

It looks like "adminperf" pulled a boner by not reporting on the salaries.

Anonymous said...

Look! The dog has Mikey in his mouth!

Anonymous said...

I've never seen a $800,348 dildo before.

Anonymous said...

Is is possible to post anonymously on the new LANS blog?

If so, of course I would do so using
another person's computer.

Anonymous said...

Only "honorable mention"? I'll have to give it the ol' LANS try and work extra hard for next week's COW, I suppose.

Those photos, though, are a riot! This blog supplies some much need laughter to an otherwise dismal subject matter. That photo with the cute dog and the dildo was especially funny. Embarrasing? No doubt!

Thanks, Doug!

Anonymous said...

I could swear that the fellow in the second photo looks like Rich Marquez at a younger age!

Anonymous said...

Just when you think the blog can't get more juvenile and asinine, it does. Thanks to this COW of the week post for lowing the bar to new, quantum-state, of low.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 11/8/09 6:09 PM
needs to lighten up.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 5:29.

I don't agree with 6:09.

This is funny stuff, I don't care who you are (to quote Larry, The Cable Guy).

Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mikey should be happy. I think as a dildo he has moved up in the ranks! Time for another bonus baby!

Anonymous said...

It is amusing that the people that police grammar mistakes and complain petulantly about trolls and teenagers living in their parent's basements polluting the blog, fail to recognize this COW post by Doug as childish prurient nonsense. 

Morons: heal thyselves.

Anonymous said...

"Morons: heal thyselves."

Mormons: heal thyselves. Sounds better that way, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Sound better? Sure...except my comments have nothing to do with prudishness and everything to do with childish hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Doug. These pictures confirm to most intelligent people that this blog should never be taken seriously. Actually, it goes even further than that. This blog should be shut down. It serves no purpose other than to air dirty gutter humor at the expense of LANS management. It's nothing more than cheap porno for a few, very vocal lab whiners.

Anonymous said...

9:57 makes a good point. This blog should probably be shut down. I'm guessing 95% of the Lab doesn't even bother looking at it. The 5% who do are just bitching to make themselves feel better. I notice they keep cashing those paychecks, bitching all the way to the bank. We had a saying in the Corps: if they ain't bitching, they ain't happy. Ain't that a bitch?

Anonymous said...

"We had a saying in the Corps: if they ain't bitching, they ain't happy. Ain't that a bitch?"

We also had a saying in the Corps: don't ask, don't tell. God I miss the Corps; it was the one time in my life where I fit in, I did what I was told, I did not think, and I obeyed. Most other people in the service saw it as a way serve the United States and gain some experience. It was different for me, it was a way of life, the only way of life all of us should live at all times. Outside of the corps I am confused and scared. In this freak world, people have opinions and ideas, they create things and do things. They should be silent and take it like men. Freedom is not for me nor should it be for anyone else and that is why I hate this blog.

Anonymous said...

Pictures

The pictures, although funny in a certain kind of way, also make sure that the casual viewer from DOE, DOD or the rare visitor from the White House staff won't bother to read any further.

Anonymous said...

8:03am,

I am afraid that you were a bit too subtle for that segment of the readership calling for "the blog to be shut down" again. I liked your comment, though. Too bad it will fly right over the heads of the corporate suck asses.

Anonymous said...

8:13AM,

Uh, I'd like to remind you that the headlines were blaring news about presidential blow jobs not too very long ago. If anything, a photo of a young Rich Marquez sporting a hard-on under his swimsuit, and one of a dog with a dildo in his mouth will cause Washington to become even more frequent daily visitors.

It is interesting to note how frantically some of the LANS-fan posters on this blog are trying to divert attention away from the main issue addressed by this post: the obscene $800,348 salary that Anastasio receives for running this place into the ground.

Anonymous said...

Nice doggie! Fetch the bone!

Anonymous said...

Poster 7:16 am is right. No one at LANL reads this blog anymore. They're all busy trying to make the lab a better place.

Frank and Doug are wasting their time. They need to drop this blog and get on with their lives. At least the new LANS blog has strong relevance to what's really going on at LANL. It also has far more readers than this filthy rag.

Do the very few LANL whiners who routinely read this blog ever stop to think for even a minute that maybe, just maybe, LANS has helped save the lab? If not for LANS, I have no doubt that LANL would have been shut down by Congress. Seen in that light, Dr. Anastasio is the greatest Director LANL has ever had and is worth triple his current salary! And is there any real harm in having good business expertise brought by the LANS respected business partners, Bechtel and BWXT? Maybe these outsiders know a thing or two and we can learn from them if we're prepared to listen.

It's been well over 3 years since LANS begin the arduous work at reforming and improving LANL. If you are still here and not happy with LANS management, then perhaps its time to consider leaving. Believe me, you will not be missed by anyone.

Anonymous said...

The biggest embarrassment of all is this despicable blog. It is hurting the reputation of the many fine people who help manage the lab.

Never fear, though, for in the end, LANS will win and this blog will lose. Ten years from today, LANS will still be here working as hard as ever to help improve the lab, yet no one will remember this blog even existed.

Anonymous said...

I find it hard to believe anything that is posted on this blog. Most of the employees I know at LANL are happy to be working under LANS and working extra hard to make LANL a better place.

Morale is excellent and the path forward looks brighter than ever before. Yes, there a few discontent people at LANL, but the vast majority are happy to have a well paying job with good benefits and have no problem complying with any of the new rules from LANS or NNSA. Recent metrics definitively prove that LANL is doing extremely well under the new management of both LANS and NNSA. Kudos for a job well done!

Anonymous said...

As a lab employee, I'm thankful for all the good work LANS is doing at LANL. Keep it up! We are extremely lucky to have such talented management.

Anonymous said...

Whiners with bad attitudes never get anywhere in life.

Do'ers with good attitudes make all the difference.

LANS is full of hard working do'ers. We're in good hands.

Anonymous said...

Getting back on topic: so do we see any embarrassments, salary or otherwise, discussed on the official LANS blog? - probably not...

And, talking about embarrassments. Have the results of the LANL survey communicated to the LANL employees? - a probable NO again?

Anonymous said...

OK, you want to be "on topic", 10:34 am, then how about this...

From the NY Times; November 8th:

$$$$$$$------------$$$$$$$$

"IT’S STILL THE ECONOMY, STUPID Concern over the perilous state of the economy ran throughout the discussions during the conference.

“There are families not eating at the end of the month,” said Stephen Quinn, executive vice president and chief marketing officer at Wal-Mart Stores, and “literally lining up at midnight” at Wal-Mart stores waiting to buy food when paychecks or government checks land in their accounts."

$$$$$$$------------$$$$$$$$


Meanwhile, back at LANL you have a good job with nice benefits, so please S-T-F-U (!!!!) and stop with all the whining about LANS and NNSA.

You're lucky to have it so good. You could easily be one of these poor, starving people who line up at midnight at a local Walmart just so they can eat. You could at least thank LANS for not having a single RIF since they took over LANL 3 years ago. Show some gratitude and respect to your management. They've earned it.

Anonymous said...

Although it is kind of refreshing to see the "everything is wonderful" and "if you don't like it, leave" posts here, I haven't seen much sky-high morale among the scientific LANL staff that I know. Since I no longer work at LANL, I don't have a daily perspective, but the concensus seems to be that the science is going downhill. When I look at the Lab's web site and press releases I see lots of information regarding security, safety, management, cleanup, etc.. There is some discusssion of science, but it just seems to be taken for granted. LANL will not maintain its reputation as a good scientific institution with this kind of focus. And having managers that are making large salaries tells you that management is valued but good science isn't. From what I gather of the discussions on this blog, that appears to be the way LANS wants it. Apparently science is just the cash cow that allows LANS to pursue management.

Anonymous said...

11:11,

Refreshing isn't exactly the word I would have used. I think "amusing" is more like it when we observe what is obviously one or two people ("adminperf"?, Roark?) doing the LANS "Rah Rah" bit.

It is however notable that LANS is not completely moribund regarding public opinion. First they start their own blog (4 years late, but hey, who's counting?), then they try to salt the LTRS blog with pro-LANS sentiment.

LANS may be a slow learner, but eventually they do catch on to a few of the rudimentary tricks.

Anonymous said...

It appears that LANS management is putting a full-court press to shut down this Blog. While they are all indicating that it a "few hundred complainers", I content that "tens of these Kool-aid addicts" are being paid extra bonus money to get on this blog and claim how great LANS is and how sexy Mikey is. These folks are bought. If you don't believe me, go the Livermore blog where the LLNS sponsored blogmaster appealed to workers to start using the Livermore LLNS sponsored Blog. This gave it away. The LANS managers (e.g. Brett Knapp) are the most abusive, disrespectful, and hateful "individuals" I have worked for in my 30-year career.

Anonymous said...

America was built on the idea of rewarding those who succeed. LANS is succeeding beyond anyone's wildest imagination. Thus, I see no problem with the salaries of the lab's top managers. They have worked hard to earn their salaries and are doing a terrific job.

I would also note to blog readers that the LANS Performance Blog is getting quite a few comments from the lab's engaged employees. On the section dealing with PBIs, it appears that most employees are happy with the PBI method of measuring lab output and have no problems in fully supporting it. I see this as yet another sign that while a few highly vocal malcontents like to hang out on this blog, most employees at LANL are happy with LANS and fully support the leadership team. In fact, LANS will soon be releasing figures on the recent Engagement Survey. I suspect that many blog readers may be very surprised by the results. Stay tuned.

Anonymous said...

9:06 Stay off the drugs.

Anonymous said...

I nominate 9:06, 9:20, 9:41, 10:14, 10:16 for the new "Dildo of the Week" feature.

Anonymous said...

5:10 You took the words right out of my mouth. Bret Knapp is the most self-important, disrespectful, arrogant, and hateful manager I have ever been associated with. The fact that Anastasio and McMillan cater to that loser speaks volumes for them as well. Like you I also have almost 30 years working here and have seen far better days under real leaders - not the dimestore kind that is now foisted upon us. Our collective opinion shouldn't have any value when compared with the highly-paid LANS managers or their Bechtelian toadies.

Anonymous said...

LANS has a strong interest in the views of all their employees... even the few employees who occasional vent on this blog. However, these same employees would greatly benefit by occasionally checking out "The Other Story" over at LANS' new Performance Blog web site.

What do you have to lose? Give it a try! You may find that you like it. It's always best to get your facts straight from the source.

Anonymous said...

The Marine Corps comments remind me of an old Gunny Sargeant who told me about "ten percenters", that 10 percent of the Corps that never gets the word. They're fucked up like a soup sandwich! Unfortunately, the Lab has more like 20 percent that constantly bitch, aren't happy with the best pay in the State of NM, and will never fall into step with the rest of the troops. The Lab needs a Gunny Sgt Hartman to say "my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Lab! Do you maggots understand that?

Anonymous said...

Why does this blog constantly engage in endless rounds of petty character assassination of LANS managers who have worked hard to achieve their positions by being very successful leaders?

Bret Knapp earned his stripes and is cleaning up many festering problems at LANL. Many of the incoming Bechtel managers that LANS has been fortunate enough to bring in are making a real change for the better at this lab.

These are facts. Open your eyes and see. Perhaps blog readers need to spend more time reading other sources of news about what's really going on at LANL. Join with the successful LANS team and let's make this lab an even better place to work! We've only just begun...

Anonymous said...

I see this as yet another sign that while a few highly vocal malcontents like to hang out on this blog, most employees at LANL are happy with LANS and fully support the leadership team. In fact, LANS will soon be releasing figures on the recent Engagement Survey. I suspect that many blog readers may be very surprised by the results. Stay tuned.

11/9/09 7:47 PM


Yes, 7:47, no two ways about it, I shit myself with glee everyday I come into work.

Anonymous said...

Bret Knapp? Roland Knapp? These boys are both very good! It's hard to tell which one is the best, but they are both natural born leaders and men of high character.

Are they related to each other? They must be! Maybe they have some more brothers in the Knapp family we can bring in to help run this lab. Let's hope so. We need all the good people we can find.

Anonymous said...

Join with the successful LANS team and let's make this lab an even better place to work!

Looks like LANS has finally figured out a strategy how to subvert this blog. Clog it with this kind of outright crap. AN EVEN BETTER PLACE TO WORK? "EVEN BETTER"?

On the plus side, this means they really feel threatened. They may still remember what happened to Vice Admiral Nanos.

We've only just begun...

That's the scariest part of all. All the abuse and humiliation we've been experiencing to date is just the beginning? What comes next, Mikey? Random waterboarding?

Anonymous said...

"11/9/09 8:35 PM"

These rah rah posts are all fake.

Anonymous said...

"11/9/09 7:47 PM"

Most people are very happy with LANS. Only 10-30 people in all of Los Almaos are unhappy with LANS and all of them post on this blog. LANL has never been a better place, never had better people, and never had better management. In my opinion the mangers should get 2 to 3 times more salary. Since LANS came in there has not be a single safety or security incident, not one. Hell I would give 10 percent of my salary to the managers. Do you realize how lucky we are to have Bechtel managers? These are the best in the world and they came to LANL.

Anonymous said...

Bret Knapp MADE most of the problems he is supposed to be cleaning up. Those are his stripes and the stripes of LANS management in general. I suppose we should be happy that after having come in and shit all over everything that was once great about Los Alamos, now LANS is saying, "hey, let's clean up all this shit." Forgive me if I don't jump on board for that fine opportunity. Frankly, it smells and I have more self-respect and more talent than the Bechtel bullshit artists that will ultimately replace me and thousands like me.

Anonymous said...

Man, who opened the happy juice tap at the cafeteria this week? This last series of comments could only be made by LANS-loving moles, trolls or the heavily-medicated. Is Mikey handing out miniatures in the halls of his palace to get everyone in the holiday spirit?

Anonymous said...

"The Lab needs a Gunny Sgt Hartman to say "my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Lab! Do you maggots understand that?

11/9/09 8:33 PM"

Oh yes Gunny Sgt Hartman, I still remember his lovely red dress. God I wish I was still in the corps.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the lab and its employees treated as a future Marine Corp? Yeah, that's the ticket!

Now, get down on that dirty floor and give me 50, you worthless little maggots! That will teach you for not entering your Concur travel plans correctly.

And address our esteemed Director with "Yes, Sir", "No, Sir" and great respect or you'll find yourself doing KP duty for the rest of your worthless career, you little f*ck-wad! You have no right to sully the grand name of my beloved LANS LLC.

Anonymous said...

2:58 am: "Man, who opened the happy juice tap at the cafeteria this week? This last series of comments could only be made by LANS-loving moles, trolls or the heavily-medicated."

As opposed to the sociopathic losers at LANL who can't find a way out and hate everything about their jobs? And beat their spouses regularly? And show up about half the hours they are supposed to be working? Yeah, those winners.

Anonymous said...

"As opposed to the sociopathic losers at LANL who can't find a way out and hate everything about their jobs? And beat their spouses regularly? And show up about half the hours they are supposed to be working? Yeah, those winners.

11/10/09 9:36 PM"

Hmm, there is a big logic leap there.

I would say it is exactly the opposite. The better people are the ones who complain and have been leaving. One of the reasons they complain is because they work more hours than other people and bring in more work. They in fact love the work they do but they do not like the managment that does not help them in anayway. They complain because they want things better, they want things to function and they want a rational approach to things.

On the other hand there are some true losers at LANL and they are the ones that hate the work they do, spend as little time at the lab as they can, and live off other peoples hard work. They never complain, they eagerly go along with everything because they know they will never ever get a job that pays like this outside of the lab. They are very scared and it shows and they are the ones that I could see beating spouses or having other problems. Most of all they are the ones that are always saying "stop complaing".

So 9:36PM at least one of us has to be wrong.

Anonymous said...

Some great examples of Helsinki Syndrome going on in this place.

Anonymous said...

"As opposed to the sociopathic losers at LANL who can't find a way out and hate everything about their jobs?"

The only sociopaths I have seen are all ex military types who had stickers on their cars with "kill em all and let God sort them out" and "happiness is a belt feed weapon". Not only are these guys nuts but are are utterly incompetent in doing their jobs. They hate everyone from what I can tell.

Anonymous said...

11:11 I agree with you.

Anonymous said...

This thread is convicing evidence that the Chief of Propaganda (CFP) position at LANS has finally been filled. And, now the suck-ass underlings hired to fill the ranks of the CFP organization have launched their mind-bending blitz of Goebels-speak in their effort to forever banish any semblance of humor from life at our once- scientific laboratory.

Anonymous said...

11/9/09 10:06 PM ..."Most people are very happy with LANS. Only 10-30 people in all of Los Almaos are unhappy with LANS and all of them post on this blog. LANL has never been a better place, never had better people, and never had better management. In my opinion the mangers should get 2 to 3 times more salary. Since LANS came in there has not be a single safety or security incident, not one. Hell I would give 10 percent of my salary to the managers. Do you realize how lucky we are to have Bechtel managers? These are the best in the world and they came to LANL."

You are a fuckwad. Why not post your name you management suck-up? It is salary increase time ...

Anonymous said...

"11/10/09 11:11 PM"

11:11pm has got it right.

Anonymous said...

This thread is convicing evidence that the Chief of Propaganda (CFP) position at LANS has finally been filled. And, now the suck-ass underlings hired to fill the ranks of the CFP organization have launched their mind-bending blitz of Goebels-speak in their effort to forever banish any semblance of humor from life at our once- scientific laboratory.

11/11/09 4:41 PM

Keep making up that wierd-ass shit, man. Do you have any extra of that weed?

Anonymous said...

5:35 pm: "Since LANS came in there has not be a single safety or security incident, not one."

Just to name one that you probably know about, leaving aside the dozens that have not seen the light of day, how about Jessica Quintana?? Of course you were being sarcastic, but nonetheless stupid.

Anonymous said...

'how about Jessica Quintana?? Of course you were being sarcastic, but nonetheless stupid.

11/11/09 8:21 PM"

I would say that really was a UC problem. Under LANS it never would have happened due to the drug testing.

Anonymous said...

I would say that really was a UC problem. Under LANS it never would have happened due to the drug testing.

11/11/09 10:30 PM

Excuse me, it DID happen under LANS. Plus, no drug testing program in place then or now would have required JQ to be tested at all.

Anonymous said...

"Why does this blog constantly engage in endless rounds of petty character assassination of LANS managers who have worked hard to achieve their positions by being very successful leaders?"
11/9/09 8:35 PM

Pfhaaaaaaa....haaaa...haaa...
Excellent joke. Brilliant use of dry warped humor. Otherwise, what kind of babbling idiot could believe such nonsense? A Lab "leader" would!? Ooops! Sorry. Maybe it is a serous post. Never mind!