Jan 10, 2008

With apologies to Lennon and McCartney's Nowhere Man

Submitted by a budding song writer.

--Gus

________________________________

Pit Whore Man

He's a real Pit Whore Man
Sitting at his Pit Whore Lab
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him

Waiting for his house to sell
Doesn't have a hope in hell
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Pit Whore Man, quit whining
We got pits - need shining
Pit Whore Man the world runs without you

He's as smart as smart can be
He'll proudly show his Phd
Pit Whore Man might have to file for bankruptcy

Pit Whore Man, should worry
Lab is dying, in a hurry
Leave it now; LANS dealt you a bad hand

He's figured out he got real screwed
DOE had plans real shrewd
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Pit whore man, quite hissing
Outside funds, are missing
Pit whore man, NNSA hasn't got a plan

He's a real Pit Whore Man,
Sitting in his Pit Whore Lab
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him
Wishing that St. Pete was going to save him

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Yes, what will we do without Pete V Domenici? Well my friends, we are going to find out this FY. Then we will see just how powerful he has been with regard to lab funding....The "Slow Sizzle" and burn has started!

Anonymous said...

Imagine there's no LANL
It's easy if you try
No pollution below us
Above us only clean sky
Imagine all the people
Living their whole life

Imagine there's no LANS
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to steal or lie for
And no Concur too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine the best and the brightest
Doing the best the can
For no more need or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Anonymous said...

It's too bad that anonymous 12:06 PM can't come up against one of Osama's boys. That would resolve his problems real fast!

Anonymous said...

To 12:06 pm

Here are some lyrics for you.

I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're mean mean man


You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're just a really big weenie, big weenie


Alright listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind-your eyes close them
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes
We are going to explore into your mind
To find out why you're so fuckin' jealous
Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?
Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
Psych, I'm kidding
I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'
Ok, now I need your undivided attention
Sir I have a question
Why do I always sense this undeniable tension
From the moment that I enter into the room
It gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dying to ask, it's been itchin' at me
Is it just because




Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me
Is that I fucked up ain't it?
But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes
Or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, ok?
You're droolin, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting
What the fuck you eat for lunch
A bunch of sweets or something, what?
You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
Your tooth is rotten to the gum
Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
Yes I do sir, what am I on?
You sir are on chew syrum
Marshall I'm so jealous of you
Please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
It's my own insecurity!




Alright now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
Cuz that's exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
Wait, let me put these sun glasses on
Now look in this mirror, how about now?
What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is tortuous
My point is this
That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is...

Eminem

Anonymous said...

<cringe> Middle age dudes that never grew up are just embarrassing sometimes.

Anonymous said...

"With apologies to Lennon and McCartney's Nowhere Man"

And apologies to the rest of us too, I hope.

Anonymous said...

Just a nit picky note about the song--very few PhDs work on the pit manufacturing program.

Anonymous said...

We can always count on Gussie to elevate the level discussion by elevating such a moronic post to the top.

Anonymous said...

2:23 - how many nukes did we need to capture Osama? WTF?

Anonymous said...

One or two dropped on Tora Bora probably would've done it.

Anonymous said...

" Middle age dudes that never grew up are just embarrassing sometimes.

1/10/08 5:03 PM"

True enough 5:03pm, but fun nonetheless.


"And if you should survive to 105
Look at all youll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart"

Frank Sinatra

Pinky and The Brain said...

7:44,
A reader sent me that post, but to make you happy I've posted something else on top. I hope you don't find it moronic.
- Pinky

Anonymous said...

"It's too bad that anonymous 12:06 PM can't come up against one of Osama's boys. That would resolve his problems real fast!

1/10/08 2:23 PM"

Here is one off the web.

Imagine a world of Islam
Free nuclear bombs FOR ALL
Allah likes the booze
We're all gonna lose!

Imagine all five pillars
Scraping the sky
Allah


Imagine Mohhemed as king
Saddam with bombs
Bush on a roasting stick
England is so sick

Imagine all Mecca
praising Allah
Mohhemed


You may say I'm a war head
but I'm not the only one
You will join us someday
And Allah is one

Imagine no America
well hey we stil have Jihad
Imagine Allah with a gun
Boy that would be fun

Imagine 72 virgins
all for us
Allah

You may say I'm war head
but i'm not the only one
You will join us someday
And Allah is One


Donster

Anonymous said...

I've got you under my skin.
I've got you deep in the heart of me.
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.
I've got you under my skin.
I'd tried so not to give in.
I said to myself: this affair never will go so well.
But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well
I've got you under my skin?

I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of havin' you near
In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear:
Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
Use your mentality, wake up to reality.
But each time that I do just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
'Cause I've got you under my skin.

I would sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of havin' you near
In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats - how it yells in my ear:
Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
Why not use your mentality - step up, wake up to reality?
But each time I do just the thought of you
Makes me stop just before I begin
'Cause I've got you under my skin.
Yes, I've got you under my skin.

Anonymous said...

Not exactly a comment on the musical thread here, but FYI, Mikey will be speaking publicly in Washington on the future of science at the national labs next week: http://www.wilsoncenter.org/index.cfmfuseaction=events.event&event_id=346071

Wonder how much spin will be put on that one, and will he talk about the grave morale problems at the labs?

Anonymous said...

"One or two dropped on Tora Bora probably would've done it."

Yep, nuke the bastards. Nuke everyone! We need to stop this conventional ground war crap and drop a nuke! Don't you see? If we nuke em' right now it would start a nuclear free for all and we could finally clean house.

For instance. We blast Afghanistan which invites Pakistan to grow a set and nuke India. Then we could nuke who ever is left standing (solves that problem). Then North Korea might take the opportunity to nuke South Korea. Then we could nuke the North AND China(solves two problems at the same time).If Russia has a problem with that? That's right, nuke them too.

It is so simple! Write your Congressman right away. Call the President! Organize a rally!

Anonymous said...

"Yep, nuke the bastards. Nuke everyone!" 1/12/08 8:19 AM


Or not.

Let me explain this is redneckese:

"Ya'll cain't go 'round blowin' everthang and everone up. It jus ain't raight."

Anonymous said...

"Ya'll cain't go 'round blowin' everthang and everone up. It jus ain't raight."

1/13/08 10:25 AM

Sounds like GW speaking